


Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

by LittleMissHeichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (just not in this), :D, Alternate Universe, Confrontations, Criminal Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Enemies, Eren gets shot twice, Ereri is Love, Ereri is life, Feed me with your hatred, Hopefully like this, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I sunk my own ship like wth, I'll hire the most creatively sadistic of you to off me, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Sorry, I'm bad at everything okay, Insane!Levi, Late at Night, Levi doesn't like blood despite being a murder, Levi is an expert marksman, M/M, Mikasa and Armin are dead, Murder, No Gore, No Romance, No Smut, No Spoilers, Not Beta Read, Not a Love Story, Not a happy shot, Oh, One Shot, POV First Person, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Short, Swearing, Well not really, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, but not really, def needs editing, ex-cop!Levi, feel free to send in applications to assassinate me, fucking adrenaline junkie, he just like the rush he gets, i hate me too it's okay, i hope you enjoy!, just saying, maybe triggering, no happy ending, not the ending you'd expect, ooc levi, police officer!Eren, serial killer!levi, set in an alleyway, sociopath!Levi, temporarily, unless you're psychic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 09:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4430276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissHeichou/pseuds/LittleMissHeichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"C'mon!" I uncharacteristically pleaded. "One round won't hurt."</p><p>"No." He repeated. "Put your hands behind your head, Levi. I'm not going to tell you again." He was watching me carefully, fully aware that this wasn't my usual attitude. </p><p>I ignored him, continuing with my plan. "It's a simple kids' game." I assured. "Just jump in whenever. Ready?" I took a deep breath, readying myself for the inevitable humiliation about to come.  </p><p>Oh the shit one endures to stay out of jail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

"Levi, put your hands behind your head!" An officer commanded, probably already pointing a gun at me. Slowly, I turned around plastering a fake look of surprise where I'm normally expressionless. The familiar face I saw looked frightened and disgusted from the number of mutilated bodies around us. 

Ones I cleansed this filthy world of. 

The policeman was one of my old co-workers; Eren is his name. The one that constantly prided himself on being headstrong and determined. He also tended to recklessly throw himself into more dangerous situations than any other officer I knew. 

Hmph, how fitting. Just like now.

"Ah, Eren!" I greeted, ignoring the shiny, black weapon trained on me. From what I could tell, the safety wasn't off and his finger wasn't hovering over the trigger. "How have you been?" I questioned politely. Not that I honestly cared. I just need to buy some time. It'd be a pity if I got caught so easily. 

"Better, now that I can finally bring you in, you sick bastard." He snarled. I placed my right hand on my chest, and used the other by dragging my pointer finger down my left cheek.

"Aww, now that hurt my feelings. Honestly, I'm sobbing inside." I fake pouted. It didn't last long before I relaxed my limbs and grinned maniacally. I shifted my weight from right leg to my left, and felt my handgun rub up against the back of my right calf. It's black grip was barely visible in the night and against my dark clothing. Although it's not situated in the best spot for fast getaways, it's ideal for quick grabs. 

Not to mention, perfectly placed for what I'm about to do. 

I barely heard a grumbled "fuck, that's creepy", before Eren was again telling me to put my hands behind my head. 

I took a few small steps closer to him. "I've got a better idea! How about we play a game?" I suggested, feigning excitement. It still wasn't as bubbly as a certain annoying brunette's demeanor, though. 

Thank God for that. I don't think I'd ever be able to live with myself if I could even _act_ that happy.

"No." Eren answered, giving me a practiced glare with his ocean colored eyes. It was almost menacing.

Almost. 

It seems he still uses what I taught him; Throw the criminal off with a mixed look of intense confidence and threat.

 

 

 _"Hey, Levi!" Eren hollered over the_ _'bang!'_ _of my pistol. I stopped shooting and looked over at the young rookie beside me, who had his palms covering his ears. I pressed a button, bringing my shot-up paper target back to me at a slow rate._

_I looked around and noticed we were the only ones currently in the shooting range. So upon taking out my neon green ear plugs, I responded and immediately began unloading my weapon. "Yeah, brat?"_

_He dropped his hands to his sides, not wasting a moment before saying what it is he came to bother me about. "How do you deal so well with criminals?"_

_A bit caught off guard, I said, "What do you mean?"_

_"Like, out in the field when you're having a stand off. How do you always get them to give up and come in peacefully? You usually work alone, so it's not like the person you bring in, feels out numbered."_

'I threaten to kill them, kid.' _Though, you don't need to know that. No one does._

_"I give them a look."_

_"A... look? That's it?" he asked, sounding unsure. The mutilated target finally reaches me and I quickly remove it from the machine. Unsurprisingly, each shot was through the outlined head._

_"That's it." I confirmed, putting my things in my bag._

_"Really?"_

_I turned and glared at him, only half-demonstrating. Instantly, he cowered away._

_"See? Just like that."_

_Realizing what happened, his face lit up with interest and excitement. Though I'd never admit it, it was sort of cute. "Woah! So cool! Teach me that, please!" he practically begged._

_"It's not something that I can really teach you, Eren." I dismissed, leaving the building. It's the look of an experienced murderer. Something I'm sure you'll never be, sadly. It's quite the enjoyable hobby._

_"Sure you can! You're probably a great teacher, Levi!" he continued, following me._

_I sighed and stopped before the door, giving in to the brat. The faster I cooperate, the faster he'll leave me the fuck alone. "Fine. How did that look make you feel?"_

_"Like I was going to die." he replied, blankly. I chuckled. Good, that's how it should be._

_"Then look at them so intensely, it'll make them feel that if they don't listen to you, you'll kill them. It has to be filled with confidence and conviction, as if you'll actually do it. You can't let them think you'll pussy out." Ending the lesson right there, I pushed open the exit. "Later, brat."_

 

 

 

"C'mon!" I uncharacteristically pleaded. "One round won't hurt."

"No." He repeated. "Put your hands behind your head, Levi. I'm not going to tell you again." He was watching me carefully, fully aware that this wasn't my usual attitude. 

I ignored him, continuing with my plan. "It's a simple kids' game." I assured. "Just jump in whenever. Ready?" I took a deep breath, readying myself for the inevitable humiliation about to come.  

Oh the shit one endures to stay out of jail. 

"I said n-" Eren started before I cut him off. 

"Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes." I sang, much slower than what the song was supposed to be. I could hear the click of the safety being turned off as my hands made their way past my waist and to my knees. "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toe-oh-oh-ohs. Eyes, and ears, and mouth, and nose. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes!"

"Sto-" 

I continued on with the game by humming out the first word, and then the second, until I heard something magical. "Hmmm, hmm-mm, knees, and toes, knees and toes. Hmmm, hmm-mm, knees, and toes, knees and toe-oh-oh-ohs." The click of the safety was being turned off, causing a barely-noticeable smirk to take over my features. 

This dear-old "friend" of mine probably thinks I'm inexplicably insane for doing something so... childish.

Oh well. My plan was flawlessly falling into place due to his inability to assess the current, and not to mention strange, happenings before him.

"Eyes, and ears, and mouth, and nose. Hmmm, hmm-mm, knees, and toes, knees and toes."

And scene.

As I straightened myself out from being bent over, I inconspicuously brought my hands to the back of my calves. Immediately grabbing and releasing the safety on my P99. 

Before Eren could even react, I already shot the hand that held his gun. 

"FUCK!" He screamed, dropping the .9mm. It landed approximately eight feet away from him. His response was louder than the gunshot itself; Which wasn't all that surprising considering I had a silencer. 

He dropped to his knees, clutching his injured hand to his chest like a newborn baby. I abandoned the childish facade as I made my way over to my former colliege. He instantly picked up on my attitude change from the new way I held myself. Cocky but alert.

"You're fucking insane…" the brunet stated, breathing heavily. He tightly gripped his hand, trying to stop the profuse bleeding. His beautifully large, doe-like eyes looked at me with a mix of disbelief and horror at the incredibly illegal act I just committed. The same look I receive from all my victims. 

A truly wonderful reaction, I must confess. One that never tires the more I see it. 

I shook my head, a somber expression across my face. "No, you just don't understand." No one does. 

"Understand what, exactly?! That you've become a fuckin' psychopath?!" He questioned, his teal eyes blazing with anger.  

Correction, I'm a sociopath. There's a vast difference, Jaeger. 

I crouched down in front of him, pressing the elongated barrel beneath his chin. I didn't even bother arguing about his wrong classification of me. "I've always been like this, Eren. Shitty hobbies and all." I confessed, glaring at him. "Since before I even joined the force."

It seemed all airflow stopped when he heard that, most likely counting the years. And if I'm not mistaken, it'd be over ten. 

Killing is an art that can be executes in many different ways. Ways that I've trying out for over a decade, and yet to have grown bored of. Because when I kill, I feel… different. Not empty. There's just so much emotion flowing from my victims, that it's as if I can feel those emotions too.

Feeling is nice. Feeling is not something I'm about to give up anytime soon.

Eren's tanned jaw tensed and the whites of his eyes began to grow reddish. I rolled my eyes when I realized he was about to cry, but was elated to find he knew just how hopeless his situation was right now.

He knew he wasn't going to get away easily, if at all.

"…why?" He asked, never dropping eye contact. Even as the first tear slipped down his tanned cheek. 

I briefly thought about the question. "Y'know, people act in many different ways when confronted in a situation like this. But the only thing that stays the same, is that question." I explained. "In the beginning, holy shit was it annoying. It just made me want to kill them faster, y'know?!"

I paused, and chuckled a bit at the repulsed look on the other's face. "Actually, maybe you don't.

"Anyway, I didn't like that even in their final moments, people still tried to pry into my life. 'Trying to figure out the root of my insanity,' as some put it. But then I realized just what it was they were questioning. It wasn't only the motive they were asking for, they also wanted to know why I thought I could do this to people."

I smiled, an honest to God smile. "Well, it's because I want to. And everyone has a right to pursue what they want, right?"

"But why would you want that?!" The officer asked incredulously. I frowned, pressing the barrel of my gun harder against him. "I don't get it!" The tears were again replaced with anger. The front of Eren's uniform was soaked in his own blood from holding his wound so closely. Although he stopped crying, his wound still weeped. 

Disgusting. 

"I told you you wouldn't understand. But I'll try to put it in a way you will, alright? Answer me this: why do people want to do anything if they don't already _have_ to?" I inquired, in the most simplistic form possible. Even a kid would know this. 

"Because…" He paused, seeming to connect the dots little by little, until realization was what pooled within those unique eyes of his. "it's something they enjoy."

I nodded, letting him know that his answer was the correct one. "It's as simple as that." I stated. "And what I enjoy is this right here." I gestured to the dead bodies surrounding us. "The feeling of absolute control and adrenaline coursing through my veins. Its quite addicting, if I do say so myself. So much so that I don't need to be fueled with something as stupid as money or revenge."

 

Now completely done with our little play date, I stood, stretching out the cramping in my legs by taking a few steps back from Eren's bent over form. Faintly, I could hear the sound of sirens in the distance.

"This has been fun and all," I said with a smirk, retraining my silenced P99 in between Eren's jewel-like eyes. "But I really ought to be going. Say hi to Armin and Mikasa for me, yeah?" The brunet's eyes widened at the mention of his dead friends. 

In his last attempt to live, Eren lunged for his discarded .9mm which still laid not too far away. But before he could even reach it, I shot him cleanly through the head. 

"See you in the after life, shitty brat."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought! :)
> 
> Your fellow shipster,  
> LittleMissHeichou <3 :D


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